- 1 Baar Santa kO
Raste mE Patthar Mila
UspE Likha Tha
“Patthar kO Palat Lo Kch Ban Jaoge”
Jaise Hi Usne Palta
Dusri Taraf Likha Tha”Bewkuf Ban Gya - Santa: Aaj TV pe 30 feet ka saap dikhane wale h.
Banta: Acha
Par mai nhi dekh pawunga.
Santa: kyu
Banta: Mera TV to 21 inch ka hi hai - Santa: maine apki dukan se murgi dana kharida tha
DUKANDAR: to kya usme koi kharabi nikli
Santa:mahina ho gya muje khet me boye ab tak murgi nhi ugi - Exam me SIR ne nakal Krne Di or
kha Bahar jake Na khna k maine nakal krai h
santa-na g hum kahenge sir to bhut harami tha,
kutte ne hilne b nhi Dia - BANTA-tera history da paper kaisa hua ?
SANTA-’bhout bura’,
Saalo ne mere birth se B phale K question puch rakhe the. - SaNTA Roti Ka 1 Tukda Khud or 1 Murge Ko Khila Raha Tha
BaNTA-Ye Kya Kr Rahe Ho?
SANTA- Hum Khaandani Log He Roz Roti Chickn K Saath Khate he - santa:aaj meri bakri ne pehla anda diya hai!
banta:bakri kaise anda de sakti hai?
santa:Arre yaar maine apni murgi ka naam bakri rakha hai - SANTA: Kya Daru Pine se khaansi jati hai
BANTA: Kyu nai jayegi
Jab mera ghar, khet, paisa sab kuch chala gaya to teri khansi kya cheej hai - 2 dost salo k bad mile
Pata chala dono ki shadi ho gayi hai
Santa-kaisi hai tumhari Biwi ?
Banta-swarg ki apsra hai Aur teri?
Santa-meri to abhi jinda hai - Teacher: Name some countries?
Australian Kid: Australia..
Teacher: That is it?
Kid: Yes.
Teacher: Aren't Africa, UK, US, India, Singapore, Europe countries?
Kid: Nope, They are not country, they are Foreign countries.. - Through Apple - Vitamin
Through Vitamin - Power
Through Power - Work
Through work - Money
Through Money - Love
Through Love - Marriage
Through Marriage - Wife
Through Wife - Tension
Through Tension - Illness
Through Illness- APPLE
Whenever, there is fight with wife - Than it feels like I should suicide..
But.. I stop myself by thinking - There are very less tigers in the world.. - There is two kinds of suicide..
One is take a rope and hand on fa..Second have marriage and hand on whole life.. - When you do lot of sins and stock is full of sins....than...
than.. he gets married..) - Shelly: Why it is feel like husband and kite seems alike..
Aliza: Why?
Shelly: Because, both are kept loose, flies here and there! - Tell us the name of the woman who 100% knows where her husband is?
.....thinking...
Ans is: A widow woman
Dr: Your one kidney has failed..
Man: First cried a lot than stopped and asked.... failed.....from how many numbers???
After exercise I always eat pizza, Just kidding.. I don't Exercise!! - No matters, how good work, noble cause you do... people always remember those who dies after borrowing some dollars!!
- Yahoooooo…….!
Exams ki saari taiyaari ho gayi
Pen
Pencil
Scale
Eraser
Sab Taiyyar hai
BUS AB..
Padhna baki hai … - Husband : Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Faayada Hua.
Wife :kaun Sa Faayada?
Husband : Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gai - mard mirch ki tarah tikha aur tej hota hai
Magar mirch kitne bhi tej kyo na ho-aurat uska achar dal deti hai - Judge-tumhara jurm saabit ho chuka hai kal tumko phasi
par
latkaya jayega
Santa-Sir, lekin utara kaab jayega..Dukan bhi to kholni hai - Santa got an invitation to a party which said ‘Red
Tie Only.”
When he went to the party, he was surprised to see that other were wearing pants and shirts also. - A fat woman is waiting for a bus at a bus stop.
How do you describe this is one word?
TiTU : MOTIVATING! - Court Order !!
U R Accused of Crawling into my inbox &
Hijacking My Smile with your cute massages.
U R Sentenced 2b MY SWEET FRIEND 4 LIFE TIME. - Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It’s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go - Life is like a MOVIE
If u r sad DRAMA
If u r afraid SUSPENSE
If u r angry ACTION
When u look at the mirror HORROR - Bruce Lee’s favorite,
VEGETABLE: MU LEE
BREAKFAST: ID LEE
FESTIVAL: DIVA LEE
ACTRESS: SONA LEE
MUSIC: QWAA LEE
MOVIE: COO LEE No. 1
ANIMAL: BIL LEE
TIMEPASS: KHUJ LEE - Santa: Aaj men ne 1 jan bachai
Banta: Woh Kaisay?
Santa: Vo aise k ek Faqir ko pucha
1000 ka note dun to kya karega
Wo Bola
Khushi se mar jaunga
Me ne kaha ja nahi deta - Sardar proposed a Girl……
Girl said “Im 1 yearr elder to you………..
Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,
Ill marry you NEXT YEAR..: - In apptitude test:
Teacher:In which state is river Kaveri.
.
Sardar:In “Liquid state”. - Doctor : Apka weight kitna hai?
Patient: Chashme ke sath 75 kgs.
Doctor : Aur bina chashme ke?
Patient: Woh bina chasme ke toh mujhe dikhta hi nahi. - Doctor: U Look Exactly LIke My Third Wife.
Lady: How Many Wives Do You Have?
Doc : Two...
MoRaL : Express Smart Ideas , SmarTLy . - In the exam hall.
Examiner : why you wrote the formula in your hand.
Student : Because my master told me that, formulas must be on finger tips. - A student was asked 2 write
a signboard 4 the traffic rules
near da college campus
He wrote:-
“Drive Carefully! Don’t kill the students, wait for the Teachers” - Man to Hotel Manager : Jaldi Chalo, Meri Wife Khirki
se kudh kar jaan dena chahti hai.
Manager : So .. Sir What can I Do?
Man : Abey Saale ! Khirki nahi khul rahi. - How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then…..
Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6. Tum aate ho k main aaon? - 1 Over me Kitne Balls Peke Jate hai
Kya apne kaha 6?
Galat jawab
1 over me 1 hi ball 6 bar feka jata he
Bade aye!
Cricket k shokeeeen! - cat:hw old r u?
elpht:5yrs
cat:but u looking big
elpht:i m a complan boy
cat:i m 30yrs
elpht:but u look so smll
cat:i m a jhandu kesri jivan
badhti umar mano tham si jaye - ji karta hai,
apke pas aau,
apke pas aa k zara ruk jau.!!!!!!!!
na bolu, na baithu...
Bus apki ankho me ..
santre ka chilka nichor kr bhag jau. - Baith kr mehbuba ki julfo k saye me aisa josh aya..
wah wah..
wah wah..
fir kya hua??
Wife ne dekh liya aur ICU me hosh aya.. - What does ILU means?
I= I
L= Love
U=Urdu
so I love urdu…
tum kya samjhey they…
I love ullu..
to haan mein tum say bhi pyar karta hoon - Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser: Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students - Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar kar ke, Ghar ja raha tha ke achanak bijli, Chamki, Badal garje, Zor se barish shuru hoi, Aadmi bola lagta hai pahunch gai.
- Wife:Please bike taze na chalao
mujhey dar lag raha hay. Sardar: Agar tujhy bhi dar lag raha hay
to meri tarah ankhein band kar lay.................funny sms - Newspaper Mein News aya
“50% Of Sardars Are Donkeys
”The Sardars Protested.
Next Day News aya ki
“50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys”
The Sardars Celebrated....................... - Kaanto Bhari Raah Me Koun Saath Deta Hai ?
Mom/Dad ? - NO
Husband/Wife ? - NO
Friends ? - NO LOVE ? - NO
Only......... Ur CHAPPALS !
Utha kar lo CHOOM Lo Yaar................... - Pundit:-Tumhare jeevan me 6 larkian ayengi.
Bow:Wow, kia bat hai.
Pandit:Ziada khush hone ki baat nahin hai.
1 ghar wali or 5 betiyan hain - U r the ACCENT of my Life,
ALTO of my Dreams,
IKON of my Eyes,
ZEN of my Thoughts,
INDICA of my Joy,
LANCER of my Heart.
Can anyone clear this TRAFFIC JAM plzz - Lovers sitting in a park,
boy tries to kiss the girl..
Girl says No dear not all this before marriage.. Boy: Don’t worry darling “I am already married” - Shadi karne k baad aur mobile kharidne k baad.
Ek hi afsos hota hai ki agar thode din ruk jata to ! ! ! Shayad koi acha model mil jata - 1 Aadmi train se utar ke sardar se puchta hai: Ye kaun
sa station hai?
Sardar Ne socha socha,
bahot soocha Or bola
Railway Station hai
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